Yesterday, 7/25

Yesterday was an emotional one. I could not forget yesterday. I could not forget the lessons I have learned.

In my previous post, I mentioned my dilemma about my family's future. I already knew this week would be a tough week. Choices needed to be made.

Yesterday, as planned, I called my principal. We talked about her plans and any updates on my employment. She said there are no updates, there is still a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers and she is not certain if things will be resolved by Friday, the day we agreed to make a final decision on my employment. She said, even if the Chinese kids will arrive at school one or two weeks late, it is still going to be fine. My mind said, "But I do not have those two weeks! Guam is waiting!" Since the Chinese kids are coming anyway, it is just a matter of when, I asked her the BIG question (an idea from a Derek Nutt, my classmate in ethics class, who is a teacher at another SDA school), "Can you take a leap of faith in me?" We said goodbyes and I talked to Alex. My husband was fine with moving anywhere but when I talked to him yesterday, he made up his mind. He said, "Drop Guam." I got upset, I cried. I was not ready for that answer. The Guam opportunity was the only sure thing we had! How could he say that? I left the house to school without kissing him goodbye. I cried in the car, called my friend Von, and prayed and prayed throughout my 40-minute drive to La Sierra. When I exited the freeway, I got a text from our principal asking me to call her when I get a break. I was battling if I should call her right away. If it is bad news, I would not want to ruin my presentation for my class that day. But what if it is good news? When I drove through the university's parking lot, I told God, "Whatever, God. Whatever." I called her and she said she got the word (from her boss) and I am in, for sure. I could not believe it. I was shocked. I did not cry. I was done crying. I felt relieved.

What a day! Hopefully, things will fall into place. God already knew it. This decision to stay at Glendale is a leap of faith. My co-teachers say that. It is a leap of faith.

Lessons learned:

1. Listen to Alex. Alex and I have been praying for this and God must have told him in his own time and meditation that Guam is not the right place for us. Thus, he told me to drop Guam. I did not listen. I got upset.

2. Have faith. Tia Melanya, Alex's aunt, said I did not have even faith that God will do it for me. I think I did have faith that God will make things clear. I do not know what He'd do but I did not doubt His power. He can do it but I guess I did not have faith enough to believe He will.

More power, amigas and amigos! Thank you for those who listened to my venting! God is good - all the time!!

Crucial point

Guam or Glendale?

I am in a tough situation right now. Let me tell you the short history.

On the last Friday of June, my principal at Glendale Adventist Academy called and gave me some not-so-good news. She said the school may not be able to employ me again for the next school year which starts in August because of low enrollment. Because I am the last hired of that school (and the youngest too!), I am the easiest target. I felt sad, of course, but I got on my feet and started jobhunting big time!

I love Glendale. The school is home-y, comfortable, and I love my co-teachers. They may be way older than me but they are supportive, caring, and helpful. My students too are awesome. Their parents are so involved. I taught at a public school in 2011 and I could truly see the difference. My students in Glendale are way better. Other advantages of this job are: the benefits are awesome (dental, medical, vision, health savings, retirement) and professional development is superb (they pay for our summer school at the university and send us to places to attend teacher conferences). Even if my employment is not certain, the principal and I have been in constant communication. She is updating me on the enrollment. Little by little, the number of students grows in a month and that means, I can be secured with my position. As they were about to tell me (according to her) about my sure employment, an informer told them there's a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers (who are accompanying the 60+ Chinese students who attend our school yearly). If there are no Chinese teachers coming to our school, there will be no Chinese students.. and that is a big chunk of the school budget! More teachers will be in jeopardy. The principals of my school are working it out with the US Embassy and they will update me again as so where I stand. Again, when this works out, I am in for sure. This brings me to the disadvantage of staying at this school. Until when is the security? Will I still stand on the same status next year? Will I still be jobhunting like crazy next year? This situation is crazy. Do I really want to go through this again?

While Glendale was sorting things out with their finances and enrollment in the month of July, I was in constant communication with Guam Adventist Academy for a possible employment. They called me 4 times for interviews and, finally, last Saturday, they told me I am hired. They gave me the go signal to buy the tickets of my whole family and they will reimburse the cost when we get there. Here are the advantages of this opportunity: It offers rent-free apartment and free car for easy mobility (so bills are just food and gas), it offers free fare for the three of us to and from the US every 2 years (Since it is cheaper to go through the Philippines to Guam from the US, we can hit two birds with one stone! I could go to my two homes for free!), simple life (It is an island just like Palau!), it is a US territory and Alex is a US citizen so he can get a job there, and I can still apply for my citizenship which I am already eligible for since June because Guam has a USCIS office. My friend who teaches there for 4 years now said, unless I mess up big time, my employment is pretty stable. The only issue I have with Guam is the low pay (1/3 of what I am getting now) and I have bills to pay back here in the States, plus I send money home for my dad's dialysis. If Alex gets a job over there, we will be fine, so he has to step up (if and) when we get there.

This is tough. In the past weeks, I was fine. But since yesterday, I have been a mess. It hit me that I had to make a wise decision soon. Guam's classes start on August 13 while Glendale's start on August 16. These dates are soon and I have to make a decision soon. My priority is still my current employer and I will wait until they say a clear Yes or No but I informed them that it would be unfair to keep Guam waiting that long. The principal understands that.

This week will be crucial. Lord, where will we be? Where do we fit best? Which one is best for my family in the long run? Please guide me. Please lead me.