The last two weeks had been crazy for me. I was in an emotional roller coaster. I could not think well, my focus was diverted, and my car slammed into a wall because I was not thinking. It's all because of THAT meeting with my ex at a church he's pastoring.
History: When this blog started, I was a brokenhearted 21-year old girl. I just broke up with that guy whom I thought was serious with me, loved me, and would keep me forever. I wanted to be a pastor's wife, and this guy was a good one. I admired him for his charisma, leadership, PR skills, and passion towards the ministry. I could totally see myself in him. We broke up because he was not really ready to commit. He was still enjoying his singlehood with many girls wanting him. It was actually a stressful relationship, full of guessing games, and jealousy around us.
So I moved on with a deep wound in my heart. I remembered my prayers before, "Lord, I know there are so many fish in the pond, but I want THAT fish!" I was desperate. I really loved him. Then life took over - I traveled with my friends, left my full-time instructor job, went to Palau to become a 6th grade teacher, met Alex, went to US twice, and got married. I was aware of the unhealed wound, but I did not do anything about it. I did not buy meds to heal it. I did not go to the doctor to fix it. It was just there. When my ex messaged me sometimes in the previous years, the wound hurt, but I would just tell myself, "It's okay. You're not going to see him anyway. You can just ignore him." I was hoping time would heal it. The wound would bleed at times when we communicated and caught up with our lives, but I would just apply first aid, which was the monologue I mentioned above.
All the while, Alex told me to deal with it, even before we got married. He knows the hangups I've had with this guy, and each time I get on an emotional roller coaster I'd tell him, "It's fine. I can handle this ( I will just put a band aid on the wound.)"
October 11, 2014, we met after 9 years. I was at his church to watch the Heritage Singers concert. I avoided him when I saw him, but he tapped my back later on. I hugged him initially, and I could see he was happy to see me. When I arrived home, he messaged me saying, "I wish you could have stayed longer. That was the highlight of my life in the past decade." I was fine that night, but got into a roller coaster again days later. That's when I realized the wound was still there, and I had not really forgiven him.
October 25th, 2014, we met again. We talked until 4:15am. I needed it so I could close this chapter of my life. All the while, he thought I have moved on. He had no idea I was going through an emotional roller coaster. He really thought I was being a friend to him in the past years because I talked to him and was being nice. During the talk, we laughed, reminisced the past, explored what ifs, his family, my family, etc. We were talking like friends. That was what I needed. Finally, I told him I have forgiven him. He told me a few times I have this one trait he could not forget about me: I sometimes do the thinking for him, especially when trials come. I took that as a compliment. I am indeed like that. I am not dependent, I am good in problem solving, and I do not sulk. I think of solutions right away. Alex appreciates the same way, although he has not articulated it. Well, this trait is hard to find. Not so many girls are like me. :)
The conversation was good. It helped me. We prayed after. His prayer was heartwarming, sincere, and godly. He held my hand, and we hugged tight. I found a friend in him. I know he is more than the guy I knew back in 2005. He has a good heart.
So that was the end of that chapter. I actually drew closer to God after that meeting. My Savior and I got closer. I think that wound was the one that's holding me up. I told Alex before he left to Panama a week ago, "I will be a better woman after the talk." He said, "I am afraid you will have more questions though." Well, there are no more questions, only joys.
Thank you, EC. You are very much appreciated. We both needed that talk.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Interesting meeting
Last Saturday, somebody tapped my back while I was buying CDs with my friends after a concert at a church. It was my ex. No big deal. Sigh*
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Hi, it's been a while...
Hello, I am home and got some nasal congestion. It's a good thing that I stayed home. I need to catch up with cleaning, grading, and thinking about the future.
Well, two weeks ago, Alex and I decided to remove my IUD. Yes, we have decided to add an additional member to our family! No, I am not pregnant yet. We were just deciding on it. Alex has been ready to have another since Cinzia was born, so it was basically all on me. The ball has always been in my court. Weeks ago, we three went to Corona SDA Church to meet with some old friends. They have two kids. One is a 5-year old boy. When we were at their apartment after church, he and Cinzia just hit it off. They played, ran around, talked -- just getting along. It was a sight to behold. FYI, that boy and my girl are 2 years apart. I have always known Cinzia needs someone in her life to play and communicate with, especially after dinner time at home when she gets so playful, and there is no kid to play with. That fact saddens me. The sight of the boy and happy Cinzia playing nailed my wobbly decision to try for another one. That was it. Emotionally, I am now ready to face any trials - nasal congestion, tight budget, stress with toddlers during travels, etc -- just to see Cinzia giggling and being happy with another kid at home. Besides, Alex has always been an excellent dad anyway. He loves children, more than I do.:) So basically, I am doing this for Cinzia. I also miss having a baby at home.
About the future, law school is still in my heart, but should I go for Phd? I discovered something interesting today. There is actually a program called PHd (or EDD) in Instructional Technology. This is a mix of media arts and teaching. Isn't that so me? Right now, I am known at my school as THE teacher who likes integrating technology into the curriculum with the use of blogs, videos, writing scripts online, etc. It is actually fun, and my students enjoyed the activities as well! I am thinking of getting that Phd or just go to law school. I am planning to take the LSAT this December and see which law school accepts me. I have three options right now: Southwestern, Loyola, and La Verne, and my acceptance all depends on my LSAT score. For sure, I am going back to school next year, and by then, we will have the answers.
Well, two weeks ago, Alex and I decided to remove my IUD. Yes, we have decided to add an additional member to our family! No, I am not pregnant yet. We were just deciding on it. Alex has been ready to have another since Cinzia was born, so it was basically all on me. The ball has always been in my court. Weeks ago, we three went to Corona SDA Church to meet with some old friends. They have two kids. One is a 5-year old boy. When we were at their apartment after church, he and Cinzia just hit it off. They played, ran around, talked -- just getting along. It was a sight to behold. FYI, that boy and my girl are 2 years apart. I have always known Cinzia needs someone in her life to play and communicate with, especially after dinner time at home when she gets so playful, and there is no kid to play with. That fact saddens me. The sight of the boy and happy Cinzia playing nailed my wobbly decision to try for another one. That was it. Emotionally, I am now ready to face any trials - nasal congestion, tight budget, stress with toddlers during travels, etc -- just to see Cinzia giggling and being happy with another kid at home. Besides, Alex has always been an excellent dad anyway. He loves children, more than I do.:) So basically, I am doing this for Cinzia. I also miss having a baby at home.
About the future, law school is still in my heart, but should I go for Phd? I discovered something interesting today. There is actually a program called PHd (or EDD) in Instructional Technology. This is a mix of media arts and teaching. Isn't that so me? Right now, I am known at my school as THE teacher who likes integrating technology into the curriculum with the use of blogs, videos, writing scripts online, etc. It is actually fun, and my students enjoyed the activities as well! I am thinking of getting that Phd or just go to law school. I am planning to take the LSAT this December and see which law school accepts me. I have three options right now: Southwestern, Loyola, and La Verne, and my acceptance all depends on my LSAT score. For sure, I am going back to school next year, and by then, we will have the answers.
Friday, August 08, 2014
My dad's journey to US permanent residency (COMPLICATED)
While I was on vacation in the Philippines this summer, my dad and I weighed in on the pros and cons of migrating to the US. Eventually, we decided to give legal permanency a try. Papa is retired now. His last day of work was last week. His case is tricky because he is an End-Stage Renal Disease patient. His kidneys have failed. We'll see what USCIS will do about this case. We are just trying.
August 8, 2014 - USCIS emailed and texted me that they have received his Form 1-130, marriage certificate with my mom, my birth certificate, my marriage certificate with my husband (because I have a different last name now), my naturalization certificate, and $420 fee.
THE WAITING BEGINS...
August 8, 2014 - Received a letter from USCIS stating they have received the application
March 19, 2015 - APPROVED
March 31, 2015 - Case is transferred to NVC
April 13 - NVC emailed me with the next steps to take
May 8 - Dad received the same instructions in the mail
August 2015 - Paid all fees, Waited for his NBI clearance, wanted me to wait longer to turn in his documents
April 2016 - Turn in all his civil documents
late May 2016 - got an interview notice for 7/5/2016 interview
June 27, 2016 - He got into an accident, can't walk, moved interview to 9/2
August 30, 2016 - Medical exam at St. Lukes, asked to stay for sputum tests for 3 consecutive days, advised to move interview and wait for 2 months for sputum culture (even though sputum tests show negative), ordered to call on 11/4, moved interview to 11/14. We'll see what happens.
November 4, 2016 - I called St. Lukes and they said Papa is ready for immunization.
November 11, 2016 - Papa arrived at St. Lukes, he was not immunized (because of his medical condition), but told he was cleared. St Lukes said they're going to forward his medical results to Embassy 11/14. They also told him that he had to be in the US by January 28, 2017 due to his medical results/condition.
November 14, 2016 - Embassy Interview - It went well.
Haven't heard a thing... I have been calling but they said we just have to wait. Status online says Administrative processing... (We thought the delay is due to his medical condition.)
Finally..
December 22, 2016 - Received a letter from the embassy saying Papa needed a written explanation from NBI about his unresolved cases. Since then, I have been calling NBI nonstop.
January 3, 2016 - Papa sent the documents needed by NBI Manila through LBC.
January 6, 2016 - NBI said they made a written explanation, and they worded it very well.
January 10, 2016 - Embassy personnel picked up Papa's NBI docs. (January 28 is fast approaching!)
August 8, 2014 - USCIS emailed and texted me that they have received his Form 1-130, marriage certificate with my mom, my birth certificate, my marriage certificate with my husband (because I have a different last name now), my naturalization certificate, and $420 fee.
THE WAITING BEGINS...
August 8, 2014 - Received a letter from USCIS stating they have received the application
March 19, 2015 - APPROVED
March 31, 2015 - Case is transferred to NVC
April 13 - NVC emailed me with the next steps to take
May 8 - Dad received the same instructions in the mail
August 2015 - Paid all fees, Waited for his NBI clearance, wanted me to wait longer to turn in his documents
April 2016 - Turn in all his civil documents
late May 2016 - got an interview notice for 7/5/2016 interview
June 27, 2016 - He got into an accident, can't walk, moved interview to 9/2
August 30, 2016 - Medical exam at St. Lukes, asked to stay for sputum tests for 3 consecutive days, advised to move interview and wait for 2 months for sputum culture (even though sputum tests show negative), ordered to call on 11/4, moved interview to 11/14. We'll see what happens.
November 4, 2016 - I called St. Lukes and they said Papa is ready for immunization.
November 11, 2016 - Papa arrived at St. Lukes, he was not immunized (because of his medical condition), but told he was cleared. St Lukes said they're going to forward his medical results to Embassy 11/14. They also told him that he had to be in the US by January 28, 2017 due to his medical results/condition.
November 14, 2016 - Embassy Interview - It went well.
Haven't heard a thing... I have been calling but they said we just have to wait. Status online says Administrative processing... (We thought the delay is due to his medical condition.)
Finally..
December 22, 2016 - Received a letter from the embassy saying Papa needed a written explanation from NBI about his unresolved cases. Since then, I have been calling NBI nonstop.
January 3, 2016 - Papa sent the documents needed by NBI Manila through LBC.
January 6, 2016 - NBI said they made a written explanation, and they worded it very well.
January 10, 2016 - Embassy personnel picked up Papa's NBI docs. (January 28 is fast approaching!)
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Friday, June 06, 2014
Current events :)
Well, the school year is finally over! It actually went by fast. My 2nd year of teaching 5th grade was a tough year for me. I started having 28 kids in my class, then a few discipline issues later, I was left with 26. Still, the discipline issues didn't stop. Our principal was right when she told me at the beginning of the school year, "You won't be able to finish the books because you will be focusing so much on the kids' behavior." I had the biggest class in the whole school. Thankfully, I did not have problematic parents who micro-managed me. There were times I got lazy with grading papers and I was behind for weeks. Besides this, I still kept my tutoring job which gave me $800-1000 a month of extra income. I have no idea how I got the energy to do all this. It is a God thing.
My relationship with Alex got better this year. Well, there is only one NY resolution I set for myself- to be nice to him in words, in thoughts, and in actions. So far, I have been true to it most of the time. He got a part-time job this year (which was a relief), we put Cinzia in day care full-time. My poor baby needed the formal setting and exploration with kids her age. We also noticed that she had a speech delay, so we really thought her being at school would be helpful. Since this year started, I have not sent money home for my dad's dialysis. (My parents were able to fix their financial situation and they are doing great now, without my monthly support.) That money goes to day care now, which is around $500/month. Yep, it is expensive. This is also one reason I cannot stop tutoring. At first, I was bitter. Why am I still tutoring when I already have a stable full-time job? Why can't I just stay home after work? Eventually, after reflecting and knowing more about myself, I realized that not only I needed the money, I wanted it. It gives me a few luxuries in life which otherwise I could not afford - eating out, trip to the Northwest, shopping, etc.
And, oh, I have become patient too. I learned to trust God more with our situation right now. What we have now is far from ideal. We need a 2nd car, a bigger place, another baby, etc. I used to stress about these things, but where will that lead me? It took a looooong time to realize that everything is not in my control. God is. I will just do what I can do, and pray for the desires of my heart. God listens, God knows.
So, it is June. This is my month! I actually have so many things to look forward to this month:
1. World Cup! I am for Ghana! Alex is for Germany!
2. Miss USA/Miss Universe
3. NBA finals - go Spurs!
4. my 30th birthday (I am celebrating it on the 14th. Invites are out!)
5. Trip to the Philippines!Wohooo!
So thankful for all these opportunities! So long!
My relationship with Alex got better this year. Well, there is only one NY resolution I set for myself- to be nice to him in words, in thoughts, and in actions. So far, I have been true to it most of the time. He got a part-time job this year (which was a relief), we put Cinzia in day care full-time. My poor baby needed the formal setting and exploration with kids her age. We also noticed that she had a speech delay, so we really thought her being at school would be helpful. Since this year started, I have not sent money home for my dad's dialysis. (My parents were able to fix their financial situation and they are doing great now, without my monthly support.) That money goes to day care now, which is around $500/month. Yep, it is expensive. This is also one reason I cannot stop tutoring. At first, I was bitter. Why am I still tutoring when I already have a stable full-time job? Why can't I just stay home after work? Eventually, after reflecting and knowing more about myself, I realized that not only I needed the money, I wanted it. It gives me a few luxuries in life which otherwise I could not afford - eating out, trip to the Northwest, shopping, etc.
And, oh, I have become patient too. I learned to trust God more with our situation right now. What we have now is far from ideal. We need a 2nd car, a bigger place, another baby, etc. I used to stress about these things, but where will that lead me? It took a looooong time to realize that everything is not in my control. God is. I will just do what I can do, and pray for the desires of my heart. God listens, God knows.
So, it is June. This is my month! I actually have so many things to look forward to this month:
1. World Cup! I am for Ghana! Alex is for Germany!
2. Miss USA/Miss Universe
3. NBA finals - go Spurs!
4. my 30th birthday (I am celebrating it on the 14th. Invites are out!)
5. Trip to the Philippines!Wohooo!
So thankful for all these opportunities! So long!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Future
Right now is the best time to update my blog after a long time of not writing. It is Sabbath, Cinzia is a bit under the weather, and we are home. She is taking a nap in this quiet afternoon, and I am stuck with nobody to talk to since Alex is at church.
So many things had happened. I have learned so many things about me since I got married, moved to US, etc. I did not know that one actually continues to know more about him/herself even at almost 30.
1. I realized that I am not a housewife material. I tried very hard, but I am just not good at it. I am not good at cleaning, organizing, taking care of Cinzia, etc.
2. I love being busy. Ironically, this is not in relation with #1. I like to study, beat deadlines, learn new things, etc. This is the reason why school breaks make me miserable. I cannot just NOT do nothing.
3. I still want to become a lawyer. I have taken the necessary first steps - prayer, self-reflection, going to information sessions, read "Should I be a lawyer" books, and practicing LSATs.
4. I am not sure anymore if I still want a 2nd baby. It's unfair if I cannot make enough time for him/her because I do not like doing "home" chores.
5. I still like setting goals and making them happen. I like listing them down, their pros and cons, and formulating plan B for each in case it doesn't not push through.
6. I have finally found the adjective that best describes me - GRITTY! This researcher/teacher whom I "met" in one of my classes at Coursera.org taught me the word. Grit is living life like a marathon, not a sprint. It is working really hard to make your goals/dreams a reality. Even if you fail, you get up and start again. That's me.
So many things had happened. I have learned so many things about me since I got married, moved to US, etc. I did not know that one actually continues to know more about him/herself even at almost 30.
1. I realized that I am not a housewife material. I tried very hard, but I am just not good at it. I am not good at cleaning, organizing, taking care of Cinzia, etc.
2. I love being busy. Ironically, this is not in relation with #1. I like to study, beat deadlines, learn new things, etc. This is the reason why school breaks make me miserable. I cannot just NOT do nothing.
3. I still want to become a lawyer. I have taken the necessary first steps - prayer, self-reflection, going to information sessions, read "Should I be a lawyer" books, and practicing LSATs.
4. I am not sure anymore if I still want a 2nd baby. It's unfair if I cannot make enough time for him/her because I do not like doing "home" chores.
5. I still like setting goals and making them happen. I like listing them down, their pros and cons, and formulating plan B for each in case it doesn't not push through.
6. I have finally found the adjective that best describes me - GRITTY! This researcher/teacher whom I "met" in one of my classes at Coursera.org taught me the word. Grit is living life like a marathon, not a sprint. It is working really hard to make your goals/dreams a reality. Even if you fail, you get up and start again. That's me.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
This hits home
Motherhood...oh motherhood..How can I master you?
This article at cnn.com really hits home. I am treasuring this article because it makes me realize that I am not alone feeling the same way in this world. I am a mom, a financial provider, a wife, have dreams and ambitions for myself (only), and a husband who needs me as well.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/29/living/more-than-a-mom-irpt/index.html?iid=article_sidebar
This article at cnn.com really hits home. I am treasuring this article because it makes me realize that I am not alone feeling the same way in this world. I am a mom, a financial provider, a wife, have dreams and ambitions for myself (only), and a husband who needs me as well.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/29/living/more-than-a-mom-irpt/index.html?iid=article_sidebar
Saturday, January 04, 2014
Quick update
I just realized, I am trying to be a superwoman again. Thus, I do not have peace within me. I cannot do all my responsibilities without my Creator who led me to do these things.
Advice to myself (similar to what my OB told me): Do not be a superwoman. Trust and obey.
MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!
Advice to myself (similar to what my OB told me): Do not be a superwoman. Trust and obey.
MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!
2014, here we come!!
Despite the blessings and God's grace poured upon me in 2013, that year was a bit tough for me - personally and financially. Alex and I set goals at the beginning of the year but we did not make it. My dad needed more financial attention because of his condition, and so we had to make some changes in our budget. Thus, we did not meet our goals - moving to a more spacious place and I quit tutoring (my 2nd job). However, it was a fun year. Cinzia and I went to 5 different states in one week, I became a US citizen, I was able to petition for my mom, and Alex and I had many date nights.
This 2014 will be special. I will turn 30!! It sounds so old, but that is the reality. I hope this year will be fun as well, and productive. These are my main goals:
This 2014 will be special. I will turn 30!! It sounds so old, but that is the reality. I hope this year will be fun as well, and productive. These are my main goals:
- Teach Cinzia how to read
- Potty-train Cinzia
- Attend many spiritual gatherings
- Attend two weddings (my brother-in-law's in Idaho and my close friend's in Manila)
- Start with my next professional goal: Law or Phd (I have not made up my mind yet although I have done thorough research on both)
- Be nicer to Alex - in words, in thoughts, and in deeds
- Spend more time with God
- Read/Listen to more books/e-books
Others have asked us if we're still trying to have a 2nd baby. My answer to that is, our situation right now is not ideal for another baby. I have prerequisites. It would be unfair for the baby However, I feel bad for Cinzia. She needs a playmate, another kid to talk to. My heart cries every night when I see her so playful and giggly, and there is no one for her to share her feelings and energy with. I am actually torn, but I really do not know. My mind and heart are not one in this issue just yet. Maybe, it's not time. If God wills, it will happen. Let me just vent also that having a baby is overwhelming. It is stressful. It really slows you down. It changes your priorities and perspective. Alex has been patient and very good in dealing with Cinzia. I could not do what he did. It is definitely not easy. Most times, I had to make choices like, should I clean the house or play with her? Make more money or go home and cook? Go on a vacation or send the money home for my dad?
I am overwhelmed with so many roles I have to play - mom, wife, daughter, employee. The pressure is wearing me down. It takes away a part of my personal happiness. I am not at peace right now, and I know there is only one source of peace - Him. Let me go to Him, and wait and see. I will get back to you soon.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
My mom's journey to US permanent residency
I got my US citizenship on June 26, 2013, and I did it for three reasons:
Disclaimer: My mom wanted me to slow down the process. She said, she is not ready. While I was in the Philippines for a month-long vacation with Cinzia, we realized that it would take significant time for my mom to get a passport because she still needed to secure a government-issued ID. She is working on the ID so she can apply for a passport.
1. The fees will increase if I wait too long.
2. I can travel anywhere with a US passport!!!
3. I want to petition for my family.
I started to petition for my mom last week, and I am going to post her timeline here:
July 11- Mailed application I-130 (along with copies of my birth certificate, naturalization certificate, and $420 check)
July 18 - Got an email from USCIS to confirm receipt and my check was cashed
November 22 - Got a letter stating her case was transferred to Nebraska office to expedite it.
December 18 - Request for evidence. They needed a proof that my mom (with her married name) is one and the same with Adoracion Abellanosa Yap, her maiden name.
February 24 - Petition approved!! Case is moved to NVC
April 14 - Got a letter in the mail telling me to pay $88 AOS fee and fill up DS-261
May 3rd - Got a letter from NVC with a visa processing bill of $230
May 14 - paid $88 AOS
June 12 - paid $230 IVF
July 10 - filled up DS-260 online for my mom (At this time, I am on vacation in the Philippines.)
October 2014 - Got an email and mail saying I need to make corrections to my I-864 and send the following: mom's orig. marriage and birth certificates, passport bio page, and orig. NBI clearance, my original birth and marriage certificates.
April 27, 2015 - Mailed all documents to NVC including 2014 tax return. A new year has passed so I assumed they needed the most recent tax return.
April 30 - NVC received my mail ( according to its tracking online), They also emailed me saying to give them 60 days for review.
June 7 - NVC emailed and mailed me telling me to submit my w2s, tax returns, and make changes with my I-864. Apparently, Alex needs to be my co-sponsor because we have joint tax return, so I have to turn in his w2s as well.
November 22 - Got a letter stating her case was transferred to Nebraska office to expedite it.
December 18 - Request for evidence. They needed a proof that my mom (with her married name) is one and the same with Adoracion Abellanosa Yap, her maiden name.
February 24 - Petition approved!! Case is moved to NVC
April 14 - Got a letter in the mail telling me to pay $88 AOS fee and fill up DS-261
May 3rd - Got a letter from NVC with a visa processing bill of $230
May 14 - paid $88 AOS
June 12 - paid $230 IVF
July 10 - filled up DS-260 online for my mom (At this time, I am on vacation in the Philippines.)
October 2014 - Got an email and mail saying I need to make corrections to my I-864 and send the following: mom's orig. marriage and birth certificates, passport bio page, and orig. NBI clearance, my original birth and marriage certificates.
April 27, 2015 - Mailed all documents to NVC including 2014 tax return. A new year has passed so I assumed they needed the most recent tax return.
April 30 - NVC received my mail ( according to its tracking online), They also emailed me saying to give them 60 days for review.
June 7 - NVC emailed and mailed me telling me to submit my w2s, tax returns, and make changes with my I-864. Apparently, Alex needs to be my co-sponsor because we have joint tax return, so I have to turn in his w2s as well.
August 12 - I mailed in all necessary documents.
August 25 -I received an email from NVC stating my mom's schedule for interview on September 21st. (Less than a month from now!)
September 14 - Mom flew to Manila with sister.
September 15, 16 - Mom had her medical exam at St. LUKES.
September 21 - interview at US Embassy! Passed with only 2 questions.
November 17 - Mama's flying with Philippine Airlines!
Disclaimer: My mom wanted me to slow down the process. She said, she is not ready. While I was in the Philippines for a month-long vacation with Cinzia, we realized that it would take significant time for my mom to get a passport because she still needed to secure a government-issued ID. She is working on the ID so she can apply for a passport.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Cinzia is 2!
Our precious Cinzia turned two last Sunday, 7/7. My baby is a baby no more. I could not believe how time flew so fast. Experienced parents have already warned me against this, but I took it for granted. I felt like I just went to work and Cinzia became 20 pounds heavier when I came home. It was lightning fast.
I am not the type of girl who is fond of babies. I am not good in taking care of babies nor am I patient with them. With Cinzia, I could say it's Alex who has the greatest influence. Our baby is really a good (I am saying this without bias.). Strangers, Costco cashiers, flight attendants, relatives whom we met for the first time, and many others have told us she is such a pleasant baby. She has a huge smile ready for everyone. She listens and obeys easily. She does not insist on what she wants. She tests us, too, sometimes, but generally, she is easy.
Two weeks ago, I brought her to West Virginia and we travelled 5 states with our relatives. Cinzia did not complain on the long road trips. She kept up with me at airports by walking and running to catch the next flight (We had two layovers each way). She did not throw any tantrums. She ate what I bought and/or prepared for her. Yes, she is a pleasant baby. I hope she will continue to behave like this as she gets older. Alex really did a good job on her. I am so proud of him.
Cinzia and I were not really close. As I said, I am not into babies. I could not even play with her for 30 minutes straight. Alex already demanded I should. I can feed and bathe her, changer her diaper and clothes, drive her around, and sing with her. That's about it. With that trip we both made, Cinzia and I got closer than ever. I am so in love with this baby girl. As Alex always says, she is our pride and joy.
I cannot be grateful enough to God for sending Cinzia into our lives. Even if we did not expect her to come in this world at that time she was conceived, she came at a perfect timing. When she arrived, my career soared, and blessings poured one by one! She is the perfect baby for me and Alex. God really knows what we're doing.
Happy 2nd birthday, Cinzia! We love you very very much! Here are some pictures Cinzia and I took on the plane while waiting to take off. We were bored.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Time to update..
So many things have happened since my last post. Hearts have changed. Minds have settled, and love has prevailed.=)
Well, Alex got some health challenges, and he was hospitalized for 4 days. Thanks to medical insurance we did not drown in debt. We did not even pay even a penny. I wanted to cry for joy when I saw the bill, and the info beside it that said, "Patient responsibility: $0." After two epidural shots to his sciatic nerve, Alex is better now. He is back to normal. Thankfully, he is back to work as well. He has been working from home and his hours are flexible. He has a potential of earning more than I do, and I have been encouraging him to maximize the potential. I am really trying to be a good wife. It is tiring to be a nagger and mean.
In the past days, I have also learned to be content with what we have. Spending quality time with Cinzia is very important. Improving my relationship with Alex and Cinzia is all worth it. My plans of studying again is put on hold right now. I would like to hone my teaching skills for now, and the be the best teacher I can be.
My summer vacation is here! I am so excited! Alex, Cinzia, and I started it off with a weekend family retreat in Oxnard with Ate Rose's church. Then this coming week, our families, along with our college friend from Guam, Kelvin, and his family, we are going on a road trip to Yosemite, Sequoia, San Francisco, and camping in Big Sur. This will be on my birthday week! Before this month ends, Cinzia and I are flying to West Virginia to spend time with my dad's side of the family. My cousin is giving birth and I would like to help out. On the third week of July, we are all going to Las Vegas for the Differentiated Instruction conference. It will be a family/work/vacation trip! This summer will be fun!
This coming July 7th, our baby girl is turning 2! Where did the time go? Cinzia has grown! I am so in love with this baby girl!
She will be ready for this soon!
Playing at the park is her everyday thing.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Law. School.
My desire to become a lawyer has been bugging me lately. It might be because of Jodi Arias' case. I have been paying attention to this pretty girl's criminal case in Arizona, and my lawyer blood just kept me glued on my Mac computer screen everyday, even when I am in the classroom with my students.
Should I go to law school or not? I was in law school in Davao. I quit because of Sabbath problems, but I loved the experience. I loved to study, I loved going to the library at 7am, I loved reading cases, I loved the adrenaline rush...everything! Here, in the US, there are no Sabbath problems. I can do whatever I want. So I have been researching on how to go to law school. After days and days of research, I am now torn. Top law schools (American Bar Association accredited schools) have at least 120k in tuition fees. I can borrow that, but do I really want to accumulate that much student loans after law school? That is torture and stress. However, the big advantage is that, I am more likely to pass the bar and succeed in the field because the school has a name. That means, job opportunities are better.
On the other hand, there are non-ABA schools here. Distance-learning and correspondence schools are way cheaper. Tuition ranges from 10k to 40k. Amazing! I can afford that with my current salary. However, employers don't necessarily respect non-ABA schools. Graduates have a hard time finding jobs because ABA schools have produced enough lawyers to fill in positions. Bar passage is also below 50%. Don't get me wrong, there are successful lawyers from non-ABA schools as well. They have their own law firms though.
I am torn. I have not decided yet. I am already exhausted reading forums, reading blogs, and listening to debates about ABA vs non-ABA schools. I think my next step would be talking to practicing lawyers so I can truly get a glimpse of the reality of the legal field.
I also have to consider that I have a daughter and a husband and a stable fulfilling job. These also factor in my decision. Another thing is, will I really practice law in the future? What if I get bored with teaching? What if, in the future, I regret not going to law school? When Cinzia goes to college, what will I do? I do not want to be bored.
I don't know. I need to pray about this. There, I just poured my heart out.
Should I go to law school or not? I was in law school in Davao. I quit because of Sabbath problems, but I loved the experience. I loved to study, I loved going to the library at 7am, I loved reading cases, I loved the adrenaline rush...everything! Here, in the US, there are no Sabbath problems. I can do whatever I want. So I have been researching on how to go to law school. After days and days of research, I am now torn. Top law schools (American Bar Association accredited schools) have at least 120k in tuition fees. I can borrow that, but do I really want to accumulate that much student loans after law school? That is torture and stress. However, the big advantage is that, I am more likely to pass the bar and succeed in the field because the school has a name. That means, job opportunities are better.
On the other hand, there are non-ABA schools here. Distance-learning and correspondence schools are way cheaper. Tuition ranges from 10k to 40k. Amazing! I can afford that with my current salary. However, employers don't necessarily respect non-ABA schools. Graduates have a hard time finding jobs because ABA schools have produced enough lawyers to fill in positions. Bar passage is also below 50%. Don't get me wrong, there are successful lawyers from non-ABA schools as well. They have their own law firms though.
I am torn. I have not decided yet. I am already exhausted reading forums, reading blogs, and listening to debates about ABA vs non-ABA schools. I think my next step would be talking to practicing lawyers so I can truly get a glimpse of the reality of the legal field.
I also have to consider that I have a daughter and a husband and a stable fulfilling job. These also factor in my decision. Another thing is, will I really practice law in the future? What if I get bored with teaching? What if, in the future, I regret not going to law school? When Cinzia goes to college, what will I do? I do not want to be bored.
I don't know. I need to pray about this. There, I just poured my heart out.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
My journey to US citizenship - 2013
Feb 27 - USCIS received my application
March 11 - Got fingerprinting notice
March 29 - Biometrics in Chatsworth
June 4 - Interview ( I got all the answers to the questions right! The immigration officer was really nice. She convinced me not to change my name.)
June 26 - Oath taking!
All in all, the whole process took me 4 months. That is not bad at all. I was not really that excited to take my oath. I felt it was no big deal. Three main things prompted me to apply for citizenship ASAP: the fees might increase soon, the ability to petition for my parents, and the ability to travel anywhere without a need for a visa. There was no I-will-be-an-American excitement. However, the ceremony brought out a lot of emotions within me, especially when the Immigration Judge addressed us as his fellow Americans. My heart raced so fast. I realized, I did work hard to where I am today. I wanted this moment to come. USA has actually been good to me, despite the hardships I experienced in the first years. I wanted to cry when President Obama welcomed us through an AVP and reminded us once again that in this country, anything is possible. That was a very nice assurance. I truly believe it in my heart. I am a dreamer, and I am determined to fulfill my dreams. (For that, my desire of becoming a lawyer heightened.)
I am proud to be a citizen of the United States of America, the country that gave me hope, support, and assurance no matter what my status in life is! Now all three of us are Americans! I am delighted! I can only thank God for this!
March 11 - Got fingerprinting notice
March 29 - Biometrics in Chatsworth
June 4 - Interview ( I got all the answers to the questions right! The immigration officer was really nice. She convinced me not to change my name.)
June 26 - Oath taking!
All in all, the whole process took me 4 months. That is not bad at all. I was not really that excited to take my oath. I felt it was no big deal. Three main things prompted me to apply for citizenship ASAP: the fees might increase soon, the ability to petition for my parents, and the ability to travel anywhere without a need for a visa. There was no I-will-be-an-American excitement. However, the ceremony brought out a lot of emotions within me, especially when the Immigration Judge addressed us as his fellow Americans. My heart raced so fast. I realized, I did work hard to where I am today. I wanted this moment to come. USA has actually been good to me, despite the hardships I experienced in the first years. I wanted to cry when President Obama welcomed us through an AVP and reminded us once again that in this country, anything is possible. That was a very nice assurance. I truly believe it in my heart. I am a dreamer, and I am determined to fulfill my dreams. (For that, my desire of becoming a lawyer heightened.)
I am proud to be a citizen of the United States of America, the country that gave me hope, support, and assurance no matter what my status in life is! Now all three of us are Americans! I am delighted! I can only thank God for this!
Bright and early! We braved the early morning traffic in LA on the way to LA Convention Center.
Moi with the naturalization certificate and American flag in my hands
President Obama's welcome message to me and 2500 others
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Romantic night
Since February, Alex and I have been going to a six-week date series at Altadena SDA Church. It is for couples who want to better their marriage, whether they are going through difficult times or not. My co-teacher, Linda Williams, told us about this, and Alex and I readily signed up. The program is called "The Art of Marriage." So far, it has been really good. It reminds me that marriage is to honor God and a reflection of Him. Couples overtime become emotionally divorced, and Alex and I do not want that to happen in our marriage. We want to be a better husband and wife. These are the things that stuck in my mind:
1. Our spouse is a gift from God.
2. Our spouse should be prioritized even if you already have children.
3. There is an enemy, and it is not your spouse.
Last night, we did not have a session because it was supposed to be a creative date night. Alex thought of something, and he was not telling me. He brought me to Malibu along the Pacific Coast Highway. We parked by the road close to the seashore. We declined our seats and just enjoyed the sound of the waves (my favorite sound in the whole world!). We then opened our sunroof and watched the stars. That was a sight to behold! I remember my days in Palau wherein my friends would bring a mat and blanket in the middle of a track field or by the seashore, and we would just relax and chitchat. That experience also reminded me of the alarm clock Alex brought when I was pregnant. That special clock make various sounds that relax me - waves, forest, rain, etc. I forgot that clock because it has been a long time since I have listened to those sounds from the clock. It is ironic because that is the same clock that wakes us up every morning.
That was the most romantic moment in my life since I gave birth to Cinzia. It was special. Alex then proposed something to me, a new habit that we shall be practicing for the rest of our lives. You see, marriage is all about the small stuff, so he thought about this idea which really cracked me up. But I am willing to give it a try. It is cute anyway. He proposed that whenever we are on the road, and we are at a full stop due to a red light, we would kiss. The idea was just hilarious! I thought of how Cinzia would react as she grows riding with us. I also thought about her sharing this with her friends later or even to her boyfriend/s. That is quite embarrassing! Alex, on the other hand, seemed like he has thoroughly thought about it. Well, I truly appreciated the thought to spice up our relationship. So we started "the new habit" last night. It was not that bad. I actually liked it.=)
1. Our spouse is a gift from God.
2. Our spouse should be prioritized even if you already have children.
3. There is an enemy, and it is not your spouse.
Last night, we did not have a session because it was supposed to be a creative date night. Alex thought of something, and he was not telling me. He brought me to Malibu along the Pacific Coast Highway. We parked by the road close to the seashore. We declined our seats and just enjoyed the sound of the waves (my favorite sound in the whole world!). We then opened our sunroof and watched the stars. That was a sight to behold! I remember my days in Palau wherein my friends would bring a mat and blanket in the middle of a track field or by the seashore, and we would just relax and chitchat. That experience also reminded me of the alarm clock Alex brought when I was pregnant. That special clock make various sounds that relax me - waves, forest, rain, etc. I forgot that clock because it has been a long time since I have listened to those sounds from the clock. It is ironic because that is the same clock that wakes us up every morning.
That was the most romantic moment in my life since I gave birth to Cinzia. It was special. Alex then proposed something to me, a new habit that we shall be practicing for the rest of our lives. You see, marriage is all about the small stuff, so he thought about this idea which really cracked me up. But I am willing to give it a try. It is cute anyway. He proposed that whenever we are on the road, and we are at a full stop due to a red light, we would kiss. The idea was just hilarious! I thought of how Cinzia would react as she grows riding with us. I also thought about her sharing this with her friends later or even to her boyfriend/s. That is quite embarrassing! Alex, on the other hand, seemed like he has thoroughly thought about it. Well, I truly appreciated the thought to spice up our relationship. So we started "the new habit" last night. It was not that bad. I actually liked it.=)
Friday, February 15, 2013
This year 2013
This year started off with not-so-positive feelings, with stress, with resentment. Honestly, since I have become a full-time mom and a full-time teacher, there were so many times that I had grown resentful of the fact that I do not have enough time to be home and do "mommy" stuff for Cinzia and "wifey" stuff for my husband. Why am I working so hard? Why can't Alex have a job that pays as much or higher than mine, so I can relax a bit and spend more time at home? Why is Alex the one (working) at home? So many questions.
Before I came here in the US, I already knew things would be difficult. 2008 was the worst year for the US economy. So many people, including Alex, lost their jobs. When we got married that year, we did not have a car, we lived in a very small studio place, we lived in a meager income, we did not have health insurance and other insurances needed, etc. Five years later and after materializing some of our shared goals as a couple, our lives have completely changed. Money is not an issue anymore. We have two cars, and we can afford to go on a vacation every year. More importantly, Cinzia is healthy and happy. However, despite these wonderful changes, Alex and I had grown apart. I saw him in a different light. We are not as in love as we were before. We mostly did not connect in our conversations. It was frustrating and stressful.
So I decided to pray about these feelings, for him, and for God's will. Actually, this is my only New Year's resolution. It was not an easy journey with myself. Thankfully, God has heard me and opened my heart to the lessons He is actually teaching me with this situation.
1. Patience - I have to have faith that things will fall in place in God's time. We cannot change things overnight. Waiting is worthwhile.
2. Trust in Him - Remember the verse, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart?"
3. Trust in my husband - I know Alex as a very dependable guy. He is family-oriented, has a big heart, and is very patient. Most importantly, He is God-fearing. Aren't these good qualities?
4. Thankfulness - So many blessings have come. As I said, our lives have completely changed since we started as a family.
5. Contentment - Whatever we have, I have to be contented. Life is not a competition.
6. Putting God first - Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."
I admit, it is not easy to learn these things. I earnestly pray that God will help me open my hearts to the lessons He is teaching me. I cannot appease myself alone. I need him.
I also want to apologize to Alex for the bad changes I made in myself that almost ruined our marriage. I had grown to be resentful and bitter, and it changed me completely. I also saw him in a different light. I allowed that to happen. I am now realizing these things, and I am thankful God has "slapped" me to reality, to the person He wants Rica to be.
I will continue to change for the better. I will continue to learn the lessons He is teaching me. By God's grace, I will become a joyful wife and mother once again. Nothing is impossible with God. I do not want to grow old bitter and resentful. I only live once and I want to make my life worthwhile.
Before I came here in the US, I already knew things would be difficult. 2008 was the worst year for the US economy. So many people, including Alex, lost their jobs. When we got married that year, we did not have a car, we lived in a very small studio place, we lived in a meager income, we did not have health insurance and other insurances needed, etc. Five years later and after materializing some of our shared goals as a couple, our lives have completely changed. Money is not an issue anymore. We have two cars, and we can afford to go on a vacation every year. More importantly, Cinzia is healthy and happy. However, despite these wonderful changes, Alex and I had grown apart. I saw him in a different light. We are not as in love as we were before. We mostly did not connect in our conversations. It was frustrating and stressful.
So I decided to pray about these feelings, for him, and for God's will. Actually, this is my only New Year's resolution. It was not an easy journey with myself. Thankfully, God has heard me and opened my heart to the lessons He is actually teaching me with this situation.
1. Patience - I have to have faith that things will fall in place in God's time. We cannot change things overnight. Waiting is worthwhile.
2. Trust in Him - Remember the verse, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart?"
3. Trust in my husband - I know Alex as a very dependable guy. He is family-oriented, has a big heart, and is very patient. Most importantly, He is God-fearing. Aren't these good qualities?
4. Thankfulness - So many blessings have come. As I said, our lives have completely changed since we started as a family.
5. Contentment - Whatever we have, I have to be contented. Life is not a competition.
6. Putting God first - Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."
I admit, it is not easy to learn these things. I earnestly pray that God will help me open my hearts to the lessons He is teaching me. I cannot appease myself alone. I need him.
I also want to apologize to Alex for the bad changes I made in myself that almost ruined our marriage. I had grown to be resentful and bitter, and it changed me completely. I also saw him in a different light. I allowed that to happen. I am now realizing these things, and I am thankful God has "slapped" me to reality, to the person He wants Rica to be.
I will continue to change for the better. I will continue to learn the lessons He is teaching me. By God's grace, I will become a joyful wife and mother once again. Nothing is impossible with God. I do not want to grow old bitter and resentful. I only live once and I want to make my life worthwhile.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
2012 reflections
These are the things I am thankful for in 2012:
1. God allowed me to keep my job. Best thing ever!
2. Cinzia is healthy.
3. Alex still tries to finish school.
4. We went to Tennessee and met thousands of SDA educators America-wide. More importantly, we got a good friend in Chanda.
5. Eighteen manageable 5th graders!
6. We went to Panama!
7. more private tutoring clients for extra income
My prayers and goals in 2013:
1. US citizenship
2. pay off some debt
3. wise handling of money
4. better marriage
5. Cinzia will be able to walk and talk properly.
6. lose weight! lose weight! lose weight!
It was a great year still! Thank you Jesus!
1. God allowed me to keep my job. Best thing ever!
2. Cinzia is healthy.
3. Alex still tries to finish school.
4. We went to Tennessee and met thousands of SDA educators America-wide. More importantly, we got a good friend in Chanda.
5. Eighteen manageable 5th graders!
6. We went to Panama!
7. more private tutoring clients for extra income
My prayers and goals in 2013:
1. US citizenship
2. pay off some debt
3. wise handling of money
4. better marriage
5. Cinzia will be able to walk and talk properly.
6. lose weight! lose weight! lose weight!
It was a great year still! Thank you Jesus!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Yesterday, 7/25
In my previous post, I mentioned my dilemma about my family's future. I already knew this week would be a tough week. Choices needed to be made.
Yesterday, as planned, I called my principal. We talked about her plans and any updates on my employment. She said there are no updates, there is still a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers and she is not certain if things will be resolved by Friday, the day we agreed to make a final decision on my employment. She said, even if the Chinese kids will arrive at school one or two weeks late, it is still going to be fine. My mind said, "But I do not have those two weeks! Guam is waiting!" Since the Chinese kids are coming anyway, it is just a matter of when, I asked her the BIG question (an idea from a Derek Nutt, my classmate in ethics class, who is a teacher at another SDA school), "Can you take a leap of faith in me?" We said goodbyes and I talked to Alex. My husband was fine with moving anywhere but when I talked to him yesterday, he made up his mind. He said, "Drop Guam." I got upset, I cried. I was not ready for that answer. The Guam opportunity was the only sure thing we had! How could he say that? I left the house to school without kissing him goodbye. I cried in the car, called my friend Von, and prayed and prayed throughout my 40-minute drive to La Sierra. When I exited the freeway, I got a text from our principal asking me to call her when I get a break. I was battling if I should call her right away. If it is bad news, I would not want to ruin my presentation for my class that day. But what if it is good news? When I drove through the university's parking lot, I told God, "Whatever, God. Whatever." I called her and she said she got the word (from her boss) and I am in, for sure. I could not believe it. I was shocked. I did not cry. I was done crying. I felt relieved.
What a day! Hopefully, things will fall into place. God already knew it. This decision to stay at Glendale is a leap of faith. My co-teachers say that. It is a leap of faith.
Lessons learned:
1. Listen to Alex. Alex and I have been praying for this and God must have told him in his own time and meditation that Guam is not the right place for us. Thus, he told me to drop Guam. I did not listen. I got upset.
2. Have faith. Tia Melanya, Alex's aunt, said I did not have even faith that God will do it for me. I think I did have faith that God will make things clear. I do not know what He'd do but I did not doubt His power. He can do it but I guess I did not have faith enough to believe He will.
More power, amigas and amigos! Thank you for those who listened to my venting! God is good - all the time!!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Crucial point
Guam or Glendale?
I am in a tough situation right now. Let me tell you the short history.
On the last Friday of June, my principal at Glendale Adventist Academy called and gave me some not-so-good news. She said the school may not be able to employ me again for the next school year which starts in August because of low enrollment. Because I am the last hired of that school (and the youngest too!), I am the easiest target. I felt sad, of course, but I got on my feet and started jobhunting big time!
I love Glendale. The school is home-y, comfortable, and I love my co-teachers. They may be way older than me but they are supportive, caring, and helpful. My students too are awesome. Their parents are so involved. I taught at a public school in 2011 and I could truly see the difference. My students in Glendale are way better. Other advantages of this job are: the benefits are awesome (dental, medical, vision, health savings, retirement) and professional development is superb (they pay for our summer school at the university and send us to places to attend teacher conferences). Even if my employment is not certain, the principal and I have been in constant communication. She is updating me on the enrollment. Little by little, the number of students grows in a month and that means, I can be secured with my position. As they were about to tell me (according to her) about my sure employment, an informer told them there's a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers (who are accompanying the 60+ Chinese students who attend our school yearly). If there are no Chinese teachers coming to our school, there will be no Chinese students.. and that is a big chunk of the school budget! More teachers will be in jeopardy. The principals of my school are working it out with the US Embassy and they will update me again as so where I stand. Again, when this works out, I am in for sure. This brings me to the disadvantage of staying at this school. Until when is the security? Will I still stand on the same status next year? Will I still be jobhunting like crazy next year? This situation is crazy. Do I really want to go through this again?
While Glendale was sorting things out with their finances and enrollment in the month of July, I was in constant communication with Guam Adventist Academy for a possible employment. They called me 4 times for interviews and, finally, last Saturday, they told me I am hired. They gave me the go signal to buy the tickets of my whole family and they will reimburse the cost when we get there. Here are the advantages of this opportunity: It offers rent-free apartment and free car for easy mobility (so bills are just food and gas), it offers free fare for the three of us to and from the US every 2 years (Since it is cheaper to go through the Philippines to Guam from the US, we can hit two birds with one stone! I could go to my two homes for free!), simple life (It is an island just like Palau!), it is a US territory and Alex is a US citizen so he can get a job there, and I can still apply for my citizenship which I am already eligible for since June because Guam has a USCIS office. My friend who teaches there for 4 years now said, unless I mess up big time, my employment is pretty stable. The only issue I have with Guam is the low pay (1/3 of what I am getting now) and I have bills to pay back here in the States, plus I send money home for my dad's dialysis. If Alex gets a job over there, we will be fine, so he has to step up (if and) when we get there.
This is tough. In the past weeks, I was fine. But since yesterday, I have been a mess. It hit me that I had to make a wise decision soon. Guam's classes start on August 13 while Glendale's start on August 16. These dates are soon and I have to make a decision soon. My priority is still my current employer and I will wait until they say a clear Yes or No but I informed them that it would be unfair to keep Guam waiting that long. The principal understands that.
This week will be crucial. Lord, where will we be? Where do we fit best? Which one is best for my family in the long run? Please guide me. Please lead me.
I am in a tough situation right now. Let me tell you the short history.
On the last Friday of June, my principal at Glendale Adventist Academy called and gave me some not-so-good news. She said the school may not be able to employ me again for the next school year which starts in August because of low enrollment. Because I am the last hired of that school (and the youngest too!), I am the easiest target. I felt sad, of course, but I got on my feet and started jobhunting big time!
I love Glendale. The school is home-y, comfortable, and I love my co-teachers. They may be way older than me but they are supportive, caring, and helpful. My students too are awesome. Their parents are so involved. I taught at a public school in 2011 and I could truly see the difference. My students in Glendale are way better. Other advantages of this job are: the benefits are awesome (dental, medical, vision, health savings, retirement) and professional development is superb (they pay for our summer school at the university and send us to places to attend teacher conferences). Even if my employment is not certain, the principal and I have been in constant communication. She is updating me on the enrollment. Little by little, the number of students grows in a month and that means, I can be secured with my position. As they were about to tell me (according to her) about my sure employment, an informer told them there's a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers (who are accompanying the 60+ Chinese students who attend our school yearly). If there are no Chinese teachers coming to our school, there will be no Chinese students.. and that is a big chunk of the school budget! More teachers will be in jeopardy. The principals of my school are working it out with the US Embassy and they will update me again as so where I stand. Again, when this works out, I am in for sure. This brings me to the disadvantage of staying at this school. Until when is the security? Will I still stand on the same status next year? Will I still be jobhunting like crazy next year? This situation is crazy. Do I really want to go through this again?
While Glendale was sorting things out with their finances and enrollment in the month of July, I was in constant communication with Guam Adventist Academy for a possible employment. They called me 4 times for interviews and, finally, last Saturday, they told me I am hired. They gave me the go signal to buy the tickets of my whole family and they will reimburse the cost when we get there. Here are the advantages of this opportunity: It offers rent-free apartment and free car for easy mobility (so bills are just food and gas), it offers free fare for the three of us to and from the US every 2 years (Since it is cheaper to go through the Philippines to Guam from the US, we can hit two birds with one stone! I could go to my two homes for free!), simple life (It is an island just like Palau!), it is a US territory and Alex is a US citizen so he can get a job there, and I can still apply for my citizenship which I am already eligible for since June because Guam has a USCIS office. My friend who teaches there for 4 years now said, unless I mess up big time, my employment is pretty stable. The only issue I have with Guam is the low pay (1/3 of what I am getting now) and I have bills to pay back here in the States, plus I send money home for my dad's dialysis. If Alex gets a job over there, we will be fine, so he has to step up (if and) when we get there.
This is tough. In the past weeks, I was fine. But since yesterday, I have been a mess. It hit me that I had to make a wise decision soon. Guam's classes start on August 13 while Glendale's start on August 16. These dates are soon and I have to make a decision soon. My priority is still my current employer and I will wait until they say a clear Yes or No but I informed them that it would be unfair to keep Guam waiting that long. The principal understands that.
This week will be crucial. Lord, where will we be? Where do we fit best? Which one is best for my family in the long run? Please guide me. Please lead me.
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