Yesterday, 7/25

Yesterday was an emotional one. I could not forget yesterday. I could not forget the lessons I have learned.

In my previous post, I mentioned my dilemma about my family's future. I already knew this week would be a tough week. Choices needed to be made.

Yesterday, as planned, I called my principal. We talked about her plans and any updates on my employment. She said there are no updates, there is still a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers and she is not certain if things will be resolved by Friday, the day we agreed to make a final decision on my employment. She said, even if the Chinese kids will arrive at school one or two weeks late, it is still going to be fine. My mind said, "But I do not have those two weeks! Guam is waiting!" Since the Chinese kids are coming anyway, it is just a matter of when, I asked her the BIG question (an idea from a Derek Nutt, my classmate in ethics class, who is a teacher at another SDA school), "Can you take a leap of faith in me?" We said goodbyes and I talked to Alex. My husband was fine with moving anywhere but when I talked to him yesterday, he made up his mind. He said, "Drop Guam." I got upset, I cried. I was not ready for that answer. The Guam opportunity was the only sure thing we had! How could he say that? I left the house to school without kissing him goodbye. I cried in the car, called my friend Von, and prayed and prayed throughout my 40-minute drive to La Sierra. When I exited the freeway, I got a text from our principal asking me to call her when I get a break. I was battling if I should call her right away. If it is bad news, I would not want to ruin my presentation for my class that day. But what if it is good news? When I drove through the university's parking lot, I told God, "Whatever, God. Whatever." I called her and she said she got the word (from her boss) and I am in, for sure. I could not believe it. I was shocked. I did not cry. I was done crying. I felt relieved.

What a day! Hopefully, things will fall into place. God already knew it. This decision to stay at Glendale is a leap of faith. My co-teachers say that. It is a leap of faith.

Lessons learned:

1. Listen to Alex. Alex and I have been praying for this and God must have told him in his own time and meditation that Guam is not the right place for us. Thus, he told me to drop Guam. I did not listen. I got upset.

2. Have faith. Tia Melanya, Alex's aunt, said I did not have even faith that God will do it for me. I think I did have faith that God will make things clear. I do not know what He'd do but I did not doubt His power. He can do it but I guess I did not have faith enough to believe He will.

More power, amigas and amigos! Thank you for those who listened to my venting! God is good - all the time!!

Crucial point

Guam or Glendale?

I am in a tough situation right now. Let me tell you the short history.

On the last Friday of June, my principal at Glendale Adventist Academy called and gave me some not-so-good news. She said the school may not be able to employ me again for the next school year which starts in August because of low enrollment. Because I am the last hired of that school (and the youngest too!), I am the easiest target. I felt sad, of course, but I got on my feet and started jobhunting big time!

I love Glendale. The school is home-y, comfortable, and I love my co-teachers. They may be way older than me but they are supportive, caring, and helpful. My students too are awesome. Their parents are so involved. I taught at a public school in 2011 and I could truly see the difference. My students in Glendale are way better. Other advantages of this job are: the benefits are awesome (dental, medical, vision, health savings, retirement) and professional development is superb (they pay for our summer school at the university and send us to places to attend teacher conferences). Even if my employment is not certain, the principal and I have been in constant communication. She is updating me on the enrollment. Little by little, the number of students grows in a month and that means, I can be secured with my position. As they were about to tell me (according to her) about my sure employment, an informer told them there's a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers (who are accompanying the 60+ Chinese students who attend our school yearly). If there are no Chinese teachers coming to our school, there will be no Chinese students.. and that is a big chunk of the school budget! More teachers will be in jeopardy. The principals of my school are working it out with the US Embassy and they will update me again as so where I stand. Again, when this works out, I am in for sure. This brings me to the disadvantage of staying at this school. Until when is the security? Will I still stand on the same status next year? Will I still be jobhunting like crazy next year? This situation is crazy. Do I really want to go through this again?

While Glendale was sorting things out with their finances and enrollment in the month of July, I was in constant communication with Guam Adventist Academy for a possible employment. They called me 4 times for interviews and, finally, last Saturday, they told me I am hired. They gave me the go signal to buy the tickets of my whole family and they will reimburse the cost when we get there. Here are the advantages of this opportunity: It offers rent-free apartment and free car for easy mobility (so bills are just food and gas), it offers free fare for the three of us to and from the US every 2 years (Since it is cheaper to go through the Philippines to Guam from the US, we can hit two birds with one stone! I could go to my two homes for free!), simple life (It is an island just like Palau!), it is a US territory and Alex is a US citizen so he can get a job there, and I can still apply for my citizenship which I am already eligible for since June because Guam has a USCIS office. My friend who teaches there for 4 years now said, unless I mess up big time, my employment is pretty stable. The only issue I have with Guam is the low pay (1/3 of what I am getting now) and I have bills to pay back here in the States, plus I send money home for my dad's dialysis. If Alex gets a job over there, we will be fine, so he has to step up (if and) when we get there.

This is tough. In the past weeks, I was fine. But since yesterday, I have been a mess. It hit me that I had to make a wise decision soon. Guam's classes start on August 13 while Glendale's start on August 16. These dates are soon and I have to make a decision soon. My priority is still my current employer and I will wait until they say a clear Yes or No but I informed them that it would be unfair to keep Guam waiting that long. The principal understands that.

This week will be crucial. Lord, where will we be? Where do we fit best? Which one is best for my family in the long run? Please guide me. Please lead me.

Summer 2012 is here!

I lined up a few activities for our family to enjoy this summer. Alex and I always love roadtrips, out-of-town trips, sight-seeing, and visiting friends and families. I love the luxury of time brought about by being a teacher. We have all these breaks with pay! I feel so blessed with this privilege. If it's God's will for me to stay in teaching for the rest of my life, then I will be able to enjoy these breaks with fun-filled activities!


1. One whole week trip to Modesto to visit my uncle's and auntie's families - It is a five-hour drive from North Hollywood, where we are. Since Modesto is closer to San Francisco, we plan on going to the famous bridge and take a family picture. Hahahaha, yes, we're lame like that, but we have not been there as a family! On our way there, we will see an old virtual friend whom I met at UPOU while take courses online and my English teacher in high school whom I have not seen since I got married. This trip will be good for Cinzia too, so she will be able to  meet her cousins again. 


2. One month of FREE studies at La Sierra University - I will be taking 11 units as a requirement for my SDA credential. My employer pays for this and so I might as well take advantage of it. I am excited because this school was my dream when I was still in the Philippines. I was working so hard to save to get into this university. Thankfully, the time has come that I will be studying and not paying a dime at La Sierra. To God be the glory! And oh, since it is one hour away from our place, we opt to stay at Alex's relatives' house in Riverside. 


3. Cinzia's first birthday - Who would have thought this once little tiny baby is turning one soon? Where did time go? I am sure moms out there feel my sentiments. Why do our babies grow so fast? I went back to work last year when Cinzia was still 6 weeks old. She was so tiny, now she is a curly chunky chatterbox who now stands on her own and crawls so fast. Now, she eats rice too! Her birthday party will be at Verdugo Park in Glendale. It will be with families and friends. All invites were already out. Food orders were made. We will have rice, chicken adobo, pancit, and lumpia. Alex (and his team) will also grill turkey burgers and chicken on the spot. It should be a fun birthday! This baby has so much love flowing from her friends and families. 

3. Trip to Tennessee - There is a teacher's conference in August for all those who are teaching in the SDA organization in the whole US, and the host state is Tennessee! It will be my first time to be down south. All expenses paid, and I am bringing Alex and Cinzia along! It is always fun to be in new places. We will be staying at the beautiful Gaylord Hotel. 


I am so looking forward to do all these things. These are just the major ones, the minor ones include going to the beach, eating out, working out, and just walking at a park.. as a family. Last year, we could not do as much because Cinzia was just born and it was not wise to go around with a delicate baby in tow. This year we will roll again. 

Answered prayer

"Congratulations! The (school) board voted to renew your contract for the 2012-2013 school year."

This is such a blessing! My employer, Glendale Adventist Academy, is answered prayer. I really like teaching there. I like praying and singing praises everyday with my students. I like serving God at this school. I like the fact that is just a 20-minute drive from our apartment and the 134 freeway is not congested. I like the people at school - my co-teachers, administrators, and other workers. I like how they take care of me as a teacher. There are a few problems but I like my school in general! I remember my prayer last summer. I told God, "Please send me to a school where I'd grow old." Could GAE be the one? I hope so.

Solutions

So I came up with solutions to ease the burdens on my shoulders...

Positive thinking. I am an optimistic child of God. What happened to my optimism? Didn't God give us promises so He will carry all our cares? How can I forget that? The thing is, I am a control freak. If I could control the weather, I would. I need to learn the lesson "Be still and know that I am God" all over again. Focus on the positive things, Rica. So many good things and opportunities have come your way. 


Trust Alex. God gave him to me to complement me, not to be just like me. Marrying someone like me is not something that I wanted. That is creepy. I definitely thank God for a wonderful husband. He is patient, brilliant, caring, and knows what he is doing. God called me to be his wife so I should learn to relax, let him be the driver (even when we are falling into a ravine), and encourage him. I married a sinner (just like all of us) so I should not expect him to be perfect.

Save. Seriously, Rica, how can you not save when you are at the peak right now? So I started saving the money I get from my tutoring for the rainy days. Thankfully, the money saved up and I am contented. So saving can be done. It is just a matter of little sacrifices here and there. Honestly, I do not want to stress out with money. I am done with stressing about money. It is time to seriously save and create an emergency fund.

Be grateful. As I said above, so many opportunities have come my way. Instead of being grateful all the time, my bratty self won again in the past weeks. Cinzia is healthy. My new contract with Glendale SDA School came and my pay went up and my co-teachers said, it is going to increase every year. I will be studying at La Sierra University this summer - at my employer's expense. I will be going to Tennessee this summer to attend a teachers' conference. My family's needs are met. I have 10 students whom I tutor one-on-one on a weekly basis. These are some of the things I am thankful for. I am also thankful for my students who are bright and receptive to knowledge. I am also grateful of the times they misbehave or deviant. It gives a chance to think and say my words carefully.

 Life is good. How much better it is in heaven!

Life in 2012 so far..

Well, my year started really good. Blessings come my way. I am still working at my dream school. I still love my wiggly first graders. My baby is already 8 months old! Everything is going well but..

The realities of US life hit me. It is not easy to live in this part of the world. California has high cost of living. Most of my earnings just go to bills - rent, car insurance, internet, phone provider, power, gas for both our apartment and car, etc. It's a lot! Though I am earning well at my school, I wonder why it's still just enough. Alex and I were earning way less than what we earn now when we just started as husband and wife but we still cannot save the money we always aim for. I have to stay in my 2nd job which is tutoring K-8 students. I have 4 employers who gave me students within 10 miles my zip code. I am blessed my full-time job ends at 3pm (one of the many perks of being a teacher!) and so I still have time during the day to earn more on the side. Well, Cinzia is already here and she entails expenses too. She has demands too. Plus, Alex and I get chiropractic care and dental care and these are another expense. Again, it is a lot! Plus, everyday when I get home, I still need to cook, feed Cinzia, do house chores, and clean the house. Again, it is a lot!

My stress level is high that I often bark at Alex for minute things. I guess I have not fully adjusted to the realities of the life here in the US. I am very futuristic, idealistic, and optimistic. But sometimes the goings-on wear me down. It is hard.

In the Philippines, I can hire a helper to help me clean the house. I do not need a car to go around. I have my parents to, maybe, help me take care of Cinzia. The beach is just a stone's throw away. Vacation getaways are just there. Friends just meet anytime to chat, just to chat, and it was fun. Here you cannot easily go on vacations and meet friends. Everything and everyone is far.

Sigh*

God, please give me a peace of mind. You brought me here in the US for a reason. We have come this far together. We can overcome this too together, right?