just random thoughts

Man, it's already April 2! "Time flies so fast" is an understatement. I have been in California for 10 months now and I still feel like I just arrived and I am still new to the place and I just got married. Wow.

My life has been pretty messy here, though. I am still not satisfied with where Alex and I stand right now but so far, we've been blessed. We have surpassed the trials, he has an OK job, we have a church that loves us, we have things we get busy with, we have many things to look forward to. Just when I was so depressed one day, we received a letter from USCIS about our scheduled interview on April30, and two months of waiting time is blessing enough compared with 6months to 2 years for others! God is still very good to us. In my 10-month stay here, He has taught me patience because I do not have that. My friends, family, and husband know that. I wanted to work so badly though I should not. I wanted to adjust with American life right away though I have only been here for a short time and I do not even go out that much. So many things I want to do but I cannot. I am still a baby in this country. It takes time to grow up. Patience, Rica. It pays to be patient.I have been praying hard to be one and so far, God has been helping me. So happy..It has results I did not imagine to see.

April 30 would be a turning point for me. After that, the challenge of getting a job begins. The journey of getting to the real world starts. I am anxious. I do not know what will happen, what career path will I be in, who are the people I will be with, where will I be..or, will I even get a job?? In California alone, the unemployment rate is 10%. That is high. Even degree holders lost their jobs due to recession. Even government employees arent secured anymore. It's a scary reality. So many uncertainties lie ahead. To whom will I hold on to? My husband is here, very supportive, very encouraging, loving, and he's been a very good guide to me, but he cannot help me in the fulfillment of my dreams. He can encourage me all he wants but it's still me and our God who can make everything possible. I need to use my knees and have the faith that everything will get in place in His own time. I have been in this state before, when you're on a dead end and you do not know what's next to happen. Worse, you're blindfolded. At that point in 2007, God and I were holding hands on that dead end and He opened a door for me in Palau. All the while I thought I'd only stay in my home country but God did something out of the blue, a very good opportunity for me to explore the world and appreciate Him more. I feel like I am on a dead end right now, holding hands with God and waiting where He would lead me. Just like what He did to me before, I am sure He will do a beautiful surprise to me again, a life that is in tune with His will. It's about time, Lord. I cannot wait until that interview ends. I cannot wait until you'll show me where to go and what to do!!! I cannot wait! Ooops, I mean, I will wait.=)

2009 will be a challenge. Get it on!