Yesterday, 7/25

Yesterday was an emotional one. I could not forget yesterday. I could not forget the lessons I have learned.

In my previous post, I mentioned my dilemma about my family's future. I already knew this week would be a tough week. Choices needed to be made.

Yesterday, as planned, I called my principal. We talked about her plans and any updates on my employment. She said there are no updates, there is still a problem with the visas of the Chinese teachers and she is not certain if things will be resolved by Friday, the day we agreed to make a final decision on my employment. She said, even if the Chinese kids will arrive at school one or two weeks late, it is still going to be fine. My mind said, "But I do not have those two weeks! Guam is waiting!" Since the Chinese kids are coming anyway, it is just a matter of when, I asked her the BIG question (an idea from a Derek Nutt, my classmate in ethics class, who is a teacher at another SDA school), "Can you take a leap of faith in me?" We said goodbyes and I talked to Alex. My husband was fine with moving anywhere but when I talked to him yesterday, he made up his mind. He said, "Drop Guam." I got upset, I cried. I was not ready for that answer. The Guam opportunity was the only sure thing we had! How could he say that? I left the house to school without kissing him goodbye. I cried in the car, called my friend Von, and prayed and prayed throughout my 40-minute drive to La Sierra. When I exited the freeway, I got a text from our principal asking me to call her when I get a break. I was battling if I should call her right away. If it is bad news, I would not want to ruin my presentation for my class that day. But what if it is good news? When I drove through the university's parking lot, I told God, "Whatever, God. Whatever." I called her and she said she got the word (from her boss) and I am in, for sure. I could not believe it. I was shocked. I did not cry. I was done crying. I felt relieved.

What a day! Hopefully, things will fall into place. God already knew it. This decision to stay at Glendale is a leap of faith. My co-teachers say that. It is a leap of faith.

Lessons learned:

1. Listen to Alex. Alex and I have been praying for this and God must have told him in his own time and meditation that Guam is not the right place for us. Thus, he told me to drop Guam. I did not listen. I got upset.

2. Have faith. Tia Melanya, Alex's aunt, said I did not have even faith that God will do it for me. I think I did have faith that God will make things clear. I do not know what He'd do but I did not doubt His power. He can do it but I guess I did not have faith enough to believe He will.

More power, amigas and amigos! Thank you for those who listened to my venting! God is good - all the time!!