i received an email more than a year ago from a guy who's also a member of www.adventistsinglesconnection.com. and i never forgot this letter from him. it has touched me. i read this a thousand times already and it has always moved like the first time i read it.
my name in the site is bigbaby, by the way.
*****
Bigbaby,
I am an Adventist man who is also a member of a generic "find-a-bride" site, where lots of Filipina Catholics about your age contact me. It's funny, but it seems fine when they contact me--a man my age--but considering contacting you is such a challenge. I guess that's because you are SDA and they are not. I can tell from your writing that you are very well educated while, of course, many of the young Catholic women who contact me do not know much English and seem mostly interested in getting to America ... rather than finding the man that God intends for them to meet.
What you wrote on your profile is quite different from anything else I have read ... here or in other sites where Filipinas search for a husband. You speak of mistakes made, being misled by your own interests instead of following God's leading, and about realizing the error and turning back to God's will rather than following your own into regrettable relationships.
If you knew my story, you would recognize that I am one who waited MUCH longer to turn back. And I have some deep regrets.But I always knew where God was, prayed like one long open prayer, while living a life outside the church. God never gave up on me, and finally, I couldn't resist returning. But even the return is slow ... but steady.
My reasons for seeking an Asian wife are many--not the least of which is that my sons are half-Asian. And that's simply where my attraction is. I don't want to put limits on the will of God, so I am open to whoever He points in my direction ... or allows me to find. But I sense that my natural attraction to the beauty of Asian women is inspired by God, and not anything I "invented" for myself.
My reason for seeking a Christian woman is probably somewhat selfish: I need someone to remind me not to stray. I need someone who will make sure that I go to church ... even when not feeling like getting out of bed on Saturday morning. I want someone who will not let me live like a Sunday-keeper who just happens to go to church on the Sabbath. I need a woman out of Proverbs and the Song of Solomon who will see part of her life's work as being the"task" of helping to guide he husband into the light and away from the "fleshpots of Egypt," so to speak.
I'm too old for you, Bigbaby. Don't feel embarrassed if you aren't comfortable writing back. Not that I wouldn't be pleased to hear from you or amazed if somehow I fell within the parameters of your search, but I'm a rational man with no illusions about where I am on the continuum. You have a lot more to look forward to than a 54 year old man--even one who might understand who you are and what you want a man to help you do in your life. Instead, my message to you is more about thanking you for reminding me that I am not the only one who has learned from drifting away and being willful ... and especially from finding that God is always willing to forgive and welcome us back. I hope that some young guy ... someone like me, but 20 years younger ... okay! 25 years younger ... finds your profile and feels the same about it as I do. God may be preparing him for finding you right now. Don't despair.
You are right to advise potential suitors that you are not interested in premarital sex. But when the time comes for you to lift that bas--when you marry--please remember that God invented sex, and that it is a wonderful gift meant to be shared between husband and wife with great abandon and surrender to each other. Never use it as a weapon or a bribe. You will probably face the temptation some day to use it as a tool to make your husband conform to your expectations ... but even if your motives are good, using sex that way can only diminish the beauty of the act and the depth of the intimacy between you. So avoid its misuse after you fully understand the power it will have over the man you will love ... and who will love you.
Crazy letter, huh?
Sometimes you just have to write what you feel you must. Know what I mean? May you continue in the direction your profile says you are going ... and not try to take back the reigns from the One you know should lead the way.
Curtis
****
just an hour ago, i came across his profile and found this:
met someone online ! Consequently I'm not looking anymore. I will leave the page as proof that you CAN meet someone this way.
By the way, she is a widow with two kids, an Adventist, and from the Philippines. She will join me here in the Spring.
****
wala lang. nakakatuwa. im happy for him. :)
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