2014, here we come!!

Despite the blessings and God's grace poured upon me in 2013, that year was a bit tough for me - personally and financially. Alex and I set goals at the beginning of the year but we did not make it. My dad needed more financial attention because of his condition, and so we had to make some changes in our budget. Thus, we did not meet our goals - moving to a more spacious place and I quit tutoring (my 2nd job). However, it was a fun year. Cinzia and I went to 5 different states in one week, I became a US citizen, I was able to petition for my mom, and Alex and I had many date nights.

This 2014 will be special. I will turn 30!! It sounds so old, but that is the reality. I hope this year will be fun as well, and productive. These are my main goals:

• Teach Cinzia how to read
• Potty-train Cinzia
• Attend many spiritual gatherings
• Attend two weddings (my brother-in-law's in Idaho and my close friend's in Manila)
• Start with my next professional goal: Law or Phd (I have not made up my mind yet although I have done thorough research on both)
• Be nicer to Alex - in words, in thoughts, and in deeds
• Spend more time with God
• Read/Listen to more books/e-books

Others have asked us if we're still trying to have a 2nd baby. My answer to that is, our situation right now is not ideal for another baby. I have prerequisites. It would be unfair for the baby However, I feel bad for Cinzia. She needs a playmate, another kid to talk to. My heart cries every night when I see her so playful and giggly, and there is no one for her to share her feelings and energy with. I am actually torn, but I really do not know. My mind and heart are not one in this issue just yet. Maybe, it's not time. If God wills, it will happen. Let me just vent also that having a baby is overwhelming. It is stressful. It really slows you down. It changes your priorities and perspective. Alex has been patient and very good in dealing with Cinzia. I could not do what he did. It is definitely not easy. Most times,  I had to make choices like, should I clean the house or play with her? Make more money or go home and cook? Go on a vacation or send the money home for my dad?

I am overwhelmed with so many roles I have to play - mom, wife, daughter, employee. The pressure is wearing me down. It takes away a part of my personal happiness. I am not at peace right now, and I know there is only one source of peace - Him. Let me go to Him, and wait and see. I will get back to you soon.