Bye, 2018!

Right now, it is 1.5 hours away from 2019, and Cinzia and Alex are sleeping beside me on the bed. They are planning to wake up minutes away for the countdown. We shall see because they seem to be in deep sleep. The relaxing music coming from our Google Home device is calming enough. I could not sleep because I took a long nap in the afternoon.

Blogging has been therapeutic for me, and I do not know why I stopped doing it. It is probably best to start writing here again. Are you wondering what is going on with me?

Career

Well, 2018 is really interesting for me. After being at GAE for 7 years, I thought it was time to move on. After the Chicago trip, the urge to make changes became stronger. There are so many factors that contributed to this decision. First, I wanted to grow more. At GAE, life is steady and comfortable. I felt like I was in a pool on a floater just relaxing. A wave comes, and I am still floating, relaxed, and calm. I could not do this in the next 30 years. I needed to jump, dive, swim, and even drown if I had to. (I told some parent-friends this, and they said, "I doubt that you'll drown." Well, thank for the compliment.)

Second, I wanted to maximize my earning potential. I already have 10 years of teaching experience and somewhere I could make more. At GAE, the pay is good but I already maximized it. Again, I cannot continue this in the next 30 years!

Third, my family needs have changed. My parents live with me and my brother is coming. That will make us 6 under one roof. With Alex's and my income combined, we can only afford a 2br place in Glendale because it is super expensive in this area. We deserve more than that. I want to be comfortable. I need my space.

Fourth, I am working on my EDd in Educational Technology, and I do not think there is an opportunity for me in the educational system.

I gave my two-week notice after I received the word from Hesperia. Their job offer is $30k more than what I made in Glendale. It is a 3rd grade position.

And, just like that, I am leaving GAE. I am leaving my comfort zone, my "home" for 7 years. I have no regrets. Do I miss it? Hmmm...no. I wish I do. I loved the people, the students, the working environment. I was just ready to move on and make changes in my life. Here is my 3rd grade team at my new school, Kingston Elementary, during our Ugly Sweater Christmas program:

Cinzia


She is now 7 years old. She is getting prettier and taller by the day. I moved her to Kingston after Thanksgiving break and she was actually sad about it. I saw this note she wrote in the car. :(

Despite the changes she is going through, she is a generally happy girl who has her own personality. She is fun to be with. She can be chatty or quiet. She can be playful or behaved. She asks many questions now. She likes to read and borrows books from the library. She is learning how to ride the bike and the hoverboard we gave here for Christmas. She is silly and makes friends easily. She is getting out of her cocoon.

Marriage

You know it is our 10th anniversary this year, and we initially planned a small ceremony. However, he and Cinzia needed to make an emergency trip to Panama for his grandma and I made this crazy decision to change jobs 2 months ago. We are still in transition. We still have not celebrated our 10th, and I am a little resentful about it. We are hoping we will have a nice vacation to Europe in 2019. Here are a few pics we did together for our 10th anniversary.

My parents

My mom is back working at Ross, and my dad has been enjoying the benefits of being a green card holder. Papa has free dialysis and transportation to and from the clinic. His medications are also delivered to our house. He has not spent any of his pension money back in the Philippines. Yes, they are happy and satisfied here, but their presence overwhelmed me a bit. Their dependence on me shook me. My privacy with Alex is violated. It was a hard adjustment for me. We probably need each other's space. Yes, we love each other, but sometimes it is best for us to be apart to appreciate the relationship. Opong is coming soon, and so they will have someone else to lean on.

Spiritual life

I need to work on this. I even lost my Bible. I am going to strengthen my spiritual life. I need to be more prayerful. After I receive my first real paycheck tomorrow, I am going to buy my own Bible. This is going to be my first purchase of the year with my first real paycheck.

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Overall, I am thankful for the opportunities and blessings God has given me. He has not given up on me, despite my weaknesses and shortcomings. Of course, I have my ups and downs, but God sustains me.

2019 will be exciting!! It is going to be colorful (Thus the change of color in this blog)!

As I always say to God, "Here I am, Lord, send me..."

Opong's immigration journey

August 2, 2016 - USCIS approved his petition (His petitioner is our mother.)

September 22, 2016 - His priority date

November 10, 2018 - His priority date became current.

November 13, 2018 - Received his interview letter thru email

November 26, 2018 - St Lukes appointment for his medical

December 4, 2018 - Interview at US embassy. My dad accompanied him. The consul requested for DNA testing between him and our mother. The reason is the age difference.

December 10, 2018 - Still waiting for the letter for DNA testing from US embassy. Mama needs that letter before she can start the process here in the US.

December 14, 2018 - DNA testing at DDC for Mama began. No letter arrived but instructions how the process is was emailed to petitioner so she brought the document to the DNA testing facility.
December 14, 2018 - DNA kit for Opong sent to Philippines

December 26, 2018 - DNA kit delivered to US embassy. I emailed them. They replied and told me to call St Lukes for scheduling. I did, and they scheduled him to take his swab on January 8, the earliest date they can give him.

January 8, 2019 - He flew to Manila for his swab taken.

January 10, 2019 - His DNA kit arrived back in the US

January 14, 2019 - Results were mailed to us and US embassy in Manila.

January 15, 2019 - US embassy emailed saying they have received the DNA results

Future

I did not tell you, but we are currently living in a million-dollar house right now. We are renting, of course. A parent from school trusted me with this as the property manager, and our goals are similar. So here we are. Right now, this is the best option we have. Having my parents here and the brother coming, we need to be in a house. Thankfully, this house is in the heart of Glendale and it is only 1.5 miles away from work. Such a blessing. God really knows the perfect timing. Of course, there are hard decisions to make in the process of offsetting our rent, but it is still a good opportunity to make extra money. I am busier managing this property, but it is all good. It is just a matter of time management and making wise decisions. We have been here since November last year.

I am still finding the balance of my spiritual life and how to strengthen it. Alex still wants to Garden Grove, and I have been going with him for weeks now. It feels good to go with him and Cinzia. Now that we are leaving church early, I am finding my niche in that church again. I was active in the Filipino ministry for three years and many of the events happened in the afternoon. I am a little lost right now while finding my way to be used for God's work. Ideally, I want all of us to be at church the whole day on Sabbaths. I want us to all sit down and listen to all the sermons. But Alex and I are different, although we are both Adventists. It frustrates me sometimes, but I just have to cope with it.

I am also resentful about the fact that his work is eating him up. That is the reason he cannot stay in the afternoons. That is why he is so tired at night. That is the reason he cannot make it to family gatherings and trips. This is the reason we cannot travel together. He is a slave to his work. I raised my hand so many times, and it stresses him out. This is his biggest paycheck ever, and he is also finding the balance in his life. As a wife, I should be supportive of him. I will just pray for him. I cannot really do anything to change the circumstances. I just have to be strong.

This is our 10th year being married. Yes, there are ups and downs. We are in a better position now than before, thankfully. I give glory to God for that. We were initially planning a ceremony, but his grandma in Panama is not doing well, and he wanted to see her. Finances are not unlimited in our household, so we have to make decisions. He is asking for time to process some things about his grandma. I guess for now I will just have to cherish these photos we took last month.

Life cannot really be perfect. Life is full of discomfort and trials. No matter how much we try to go things our way, they will not. This is a process of character development. Pray harder. Be strong. Have faith.

Hello!

This is so sad because my last post was 1.5 years ago. I have become delinquent. I want to go back to blogging again because this is one of the ways I get to be in tune with myself. I get to talk to myself and express my innermost feelings. So many blessings and trials came since 1.5 years ago. I hope they all made me a better and wiser person. Maybe they did, maybe they did not.

1. Being a mom

Motherhood is hard. It has been a bittersweet experience for me because there were times I did not want to be with her, and there were times I missed her so much. My immaturity and unreadiness to be a mom sometimes overpowered me. I do love Cinzia so much. I just feel like sometimes I am not enough and I feel guilty for that. I read that many moms feel this way - that we are not enough. She is in Kindergarten now and has bloomed to be a fun-loving, playful, hardworking, beautiful girl. She has become my priority. There are times that I mess up as a mom, and I make not-so-wise decisions in dealing with her, but I think that is part of motherhood. God gave me to Cinzia and vice-versa, including our weaknesses and mistakes. This fact alone comforts me. Cinzia is for me, and I for her.

Baby no. 2? Everybody is asking. Well, I do not know. Alex and I are controlling because (maybe) we do not want another one. However, the oven is not officially closed yet. Sometimes, I want to have another one. I know deep inside my heart it is not good for Cinzia to be the only child. Honestly, pregnancy and giving birth scare me. I feel that I am not strong enough for this kind of endeavor. Who knows? We shall see.

2. Being a wife

We are going to celebrate our 10th anniversary this September! I am excited, actually. I just want to thank God for everything He has given us. Alex and I went through so much in the past 10 years. Our 10 years of togetherness are worthy of celebration and thanksgiving. To be honest with you, I messed up big time as a wife. Maybe I held too much expectation for myself. But I know God forgives me, Alex forgives me, so I have to forgive myself too. Alex and I are one, despite whatever we're going through.

3. Being a student

I decided to pursue Doctorate studies, instead of going to law school (As I said, Cinzia is the priority). It has been keeping me busy. I have been getting As, then Bs, and then this last quarter, INC. This is not the Rica I know. I am going to try harder again.

4. Being a teacher

7th year now! Wohoo! I still enjoy it. They moved me to 6th grade. I am planning to get to year 10 before I change jobs for the better. I am certain my Doctorate will pave ways.

5. Church life

Now that my dad is here, we have started going to Glendale Filipino. It is a great church. I like their pastor and members. Mama and Papa want to transfer their membership there. Alex still goes to Garden Grove and Burbank, and so I am not ready to move my membership there. I still long for the day Alex, Cinzia, and I could go to one church.

6. Travel

Travel is a big part of me. Last year, I went to London and Amsterdam. It was a great experience. This year, I am not going overseas. We plan on going to Disneyland this Spring Break (for Cinzia) and Chicago (for a teacher's conference). I plan on taking Cinzia with me to Chicago and road trip around the city. We are also getting ready for the big 10th renewal.

Now, that I have shared with you my innermost thoughts and feelings, I feel better. Thanks for being there, blog. It has been 13 years. Wow.